by Sr Marie Alphonse Riboni
It is the Lord who takes the initiative, as Jesus tells his disciples before his Passion (Jn 15:16), but He leaves us free to accept or not. A very beautiful example of this is Mary’s dialogue with the angel, concluded magnificently by Mary: “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). In Latin: “Ecce ancilla Domini: fiat mihi secundum verbum tuum.”
Notice the “it be done to me” – “fiat” in the Latin. It’s a passive form, in the sense that Mary places herself entirely in the hands of an Other who will lead her life.
And we follow in her footsteps. We accept to enter into and become a part of a project that’s greater than any of our own. That’s what it means to be a servant of the Lord. It’s exciting and, at the same time, disconcerting; as Isaiah says: “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Is 55:9), so it’s not surprising that we don’t always understand everything!
A part of a project that’s greater than any of our own
This may come as a shock, but when I answered my call at the age of 18, I knew that was what it was all about, but I was ignorant of many things. Although my faith was strong, my theology didn’t go very far.
After a few months, I said to the sister who was accompanying me more closely: “I don’t think I have what it takes for a life like this.” She encouraged me, telling me that it would all come together in time… and 42 years later, I know she was right!
Over the years, I have become familiar with the Scriptures, learning parts by heart, and often singing them (it’s easier!), to discover, little by little, “the character of God”.
To learn to live by faith
Mary has led me on this journey, but that’s not so surprising. By virtue of her Immaculate Conception, Mary is never distracted, sidetracked, or diverted from the Presence of God within her. She is always in an intense relationship with the Source of her being. Which is far from being the case for me!
That’s why I, personally, can only approach this place, the Source, through Her. In concrete terms, this means that the Ave Maria structures my life of prayer. She knows the way to the Source well, and I chose her as my guide… or perhaps it was she who took the lead?
She who kept all these words and events, meditating on them in her heart (Lk 2:19 and 51), who brooded over these words, so to speak, can teach us to keep them in our turn, not as a closed treasure, but to decipher the messages that the Lord addresses to us throughout our lives, sometimes very painful ones, and to understand how the Scriptures are fulfilled for us. In other words, to learn to live by faith.
We all know the intimacy of Mary and the Holy Spirit: “The Holy Spirit will come upon you” (Lk 1:35). Praying to the Mother of God, being close to her, will inevitably make us more docile to the Spirit, more sensitive to the Spirit’s breath and impulses and, I hope, to welcoming the gift of contemplation.
I become increasingly aware of what God is doing for me
Little by little, day by day, I learn to taste how excellent the Lord is (Ps 34:9). What you might call an “inner sense” is refined, and I become more sensitive (never enough) to the realities of God’s world. In a way, the call deepens and, if I may say so, I discover it more and more: this is what God expects of me. And at the same time, I become increasingly aware of what God is doing for me. My spiritual journey shifts from “doing” to “letting it be done to me”: I embrace the passive form of fiat.