"I see nothing in particular that stood out in the
novitiate. I was very intimidated by Mother M Josephine;
I felt very awkward… and then, my mother! My human
heart was very heavy. - But I had reached the goal, that
was the main thing, and in spite of holding back my tears,
I thought: I will only leave here if they chase me away!
They didn't chase me away, but told me not to look so downcast.
I turned to the Blessed Virgin, calling her 'Our Lady of
the perpetual smile', and she helped me.
So I made profession on 8 September 1890, I felt fervent
and happy - but it was no longer the novitiate. I gradually
got used to the Paris community, they were very kind to
me.
The first shock came when I was put in charge of the drawing,
when I was still a novice. Then there was a second one,
much greater and more motivated, when I was named second
sub-novice-mistress (1893)! As a responsibility it was nothing,
but I felt caught up in the system. But my mission in the
novitiate did not last long. One day, during the examination
of conscience, I was led to promise God that I would always
say "yes" to what he asked of me: just at that
moment, Mother M Paul I, the Superior General, sent for
me to give me my obedience for Royan (May 1894)…
I was overwhelmed. But I couldn't protest. Mother Josephine
made no secret of the fact that she regretted my having
such a premature appointment (29 years old and 4 years of
profession, with still another year of annual vows to be
pronounced!) but she encouraged me by saying: "You
will certainly do a lot of silly things, but God will not
allow that to be harmful to souls, as you are obeying".
So there I was in Royan, like a sparrow fallen from the
nest on its head…and I had to get on with it! I had
many difficulties at this time, up to the closure of the
house by the minister Combe; we were turned out of our home
in March 1903. It was painful; I was very emotional when
saying for the last time: "Visit we beseech you, Lord,
this house of Our Lady of Sion…", but I thought:
How concerned we are about a house, is it really worth it?
It is the earth, that!
I was the last to leave the empty dwelling; I never saw
it again. The furniture had been sent to Antwerp, which
was being founded at the time; it was thought that I would
be sent there too: I was hoping I would no longer be superior.
But, after thinking I was going off to Australia, I was
put on board for San José - still in charge."
Memoirs written by
Mother Christine To Obey
